The American Special

In response to the courageous act of dictator appeasement by the American film industry to the First Amendment-Shredding, cyber bullying, hack-Attack on Sony Pictures, and in the spirit of politically-correct timidity prevalent in our nation today, I offer the perfect, non-offensive, generic, secular Winter Season holiday decoration.

I call it the, "American Special." It has no size or shape so as not to offend anyone who might construe it as body shaming, which might have a negative impact on one's self esteem. It's invisibility means that it cannot be said to favor or discriminate against any color. Being secular and generic, it can stand for anything or nothing at all, just like most Americans. It has no balls making it not only gender-neutral, but passive and non-threatening as well. It also includes high-tech indignation sensors, so if someone should take offense, it immediately folds up and disappears.

Additional supports may be purchased separately, because the unit is unable to stand up for itself.

JFK 50 Years Later

John Fitzgerald Kennedy 35th President of The United States of America

Sixth Floor Museum

Dedication of the new Dealy Plaza Memorial commemorating the 50th anniversary of the assassination of President Kennedy

JFK 50 Remembering 50 Years Later 

Lucid In The Sky With Diamonds

On 06 October 2013 at 5:09 AM...
 
“I just woke up from a lucid dream. What I was dreaming about before doesn't much matter. What I want to describe is the trigger. 
 
I had gotten locked out of a building I was supposed to be inside of, but when I tried to enter my PIN into the number pad lock I couldn't. Some of the buttons were too big and others were too small and the numbers kept getting jumbled around. That's when I realized that I was dreaming. I thought, "This doesn't make any sense. Why do the buttons keep getting jumbled up? This must be a dream!"
 
I decided to test it by trying to fly. So I turned around and there was an unusual looking young man striding toward me. I stretched one arm above me, making a fist and willed myself to fly-- and I did. I rose slowly up into the air about 20 feet or so. 
 
The young man did the same. He was dressed in a sort of superhero costume. It was red and white, but had no cape. We just hovered there, looking at each other. He said, "This is your dream. You can do whatever you want."
 
I turned and started flying toward a stand of trees. I kept thinking how detailed they were, how I looked as if I could reach out and touch them. I thought, "They look so real, it's hard to believe I'm in a dream."
 
I guess reminding myself that I was dreaming again was too much and I began to feel myself waking up. It was just like falling asleep, but in reverse. "No! No! No!" I thought, but it was too late. I woke up. 
 
But the cool thing is that I recognized a trigger. I had found an article online about training oneself to dream lucidly, and one of the tricks was that in a dream numbers would always be screwy, clocks would have numbers in the wrong places, etc. I remembered that article IN MY DREAM, tested it and found it to be true. 
 
http://pinterest.com/pin/133489576428091935/
 
And so the DSV Morpheus sets sail!

When The Moon Hits Your Eye

It was almost pitch black as Isis and I began our nightly outing tonight. It was silent except for the sound of our footfalls. We walked along for awhile enjoying the cool air, fragrant pipe smoke, and each other's company. We took the usual route,and when we turned back to meander toward home we saw the moon as she was just cresting the horizon, waning gibbous, so large and orange that it was startling. She looked like a giant, golden cat's eye, watching us as we made our way through the darkness.

Last night on our walk Isis paused, staring intently. It took me a moment to realize what she was so fascinated with. She was looking at the moon! She was transfixed, captivated by that same orb that drives writers, artists and lovers mad. What could she possibly be thinking?

What hold did it have on her? Did she find it as beautiful and mysterious as I do? Never have I wanted to know what a dog thinks more than I did in that moment. And never did I need words less to understand or break the magic. And so we stood and stared for a moment in shared silence until our footfalls sounded our way home again.

Diva Dog

 

Draw me like one of your French Poodles.

Autumnal Equinox

You couldn't ask for a more beautiful day to kick off Autumn. Sunny and cool, the air full of the anticipation of Fall, I'm transported back to my childhood.

These were the days of pumpkins and Indian corn, of cornucopia and anticipation of what October would bring. Soon we would begin coloring Jack O' Lanterns and planning our costumes for trick-or-treating. There would be bags of candy from which we could choose ONE piece. The rest must be saved for Halloween visitors.

It was time to learn about harvest, of golden haystacks, time to anticipate the changing colors of the leaves. We would collect them for class projects and try to replicate their colors with crayons of orange, yellow and red. To this day the colors of the Fall palette are my favorite.

Soon the morning dew would be replaced with frost-- jackets in the morning but shirtsleeves in the afternoon. I remember rushing home from school to change into play-clothes to make the most of shortening afternoons. To play until dusk meant keeping up with sweaters, which would invariably end up lost, hanging on some neighborhood back fence. Evenings would grow cooler, filled with the aroma of the first hearth-fires of the season.

And now, that imperceptible something, whispering through the leaves, calls me forward as much as it calls me back. The Fall somehow always seems more full of promise than any other time of year, even Springtime. Like the ticking of the eternal clock calling geese to take wing and the heart to beat faster in the breast of the stag, it-- whatever "it" is comes upon us again. My heart, like that of the stag, beats faster in anticipation.

The Holidays Are Upon Us

Do you know how I could tell the holiday season was upon us? It wasn't when I heard Bing Crosby crooning "It's Beginning to Look A Lot like Christmas," standing among the discounted pumpkins in Wal*Mart the day after Halloween. It wasn't when the perky newscaster informed me that this year Thanksgiving day was the new Black Friday, that Black Friday would run until Cyber Monday and that if I had any hope of getting a deal on the hottest gifts I should've done all my shopping by last Tuesday. This all dovetails neatly with vodka and Oreo Wednesday. Just wake me up for really, really casual Friday, okay?

My first inkling of the approaching yuletide festivities might have been when I awoke from dozing in front of the TV this afternoon buried under the first real catfall of Winter, but I missed even that clue. Heck, it wasn't even when some real go-getter on Pintrest suggested we decorate Cheerios with candy sprinkles and leave them out with Santa's cookies as "elf doughnuts." Great, like we don't have enough mouths to feed already!

No, I realized that the holiday season was truly upon us when my wife informed me that our furnace expired-- and oh, by the way, the brakes are going out on the car.

So what you are telling me is that not only do we have no heat in the house, if we decide to go over the river and throw the woods to Grandma's house we are liable to just keep going?

Okay... Deep breaths... Just roll with the punches. We've got a couple of electric heaters to get us through the cold nights. At least we don't have water, snow or a complete power outage like the poor folks on the East coast. And I suppose we could wrap a chain around an anvil and toss it out the back of the car if we really want to stop someplace. I guess I can't really complain. It could be worse.

As a strict adherent to all of Judge Murphy's edicts I know what I'm talking about. I take my role as an object lesson for the rest of you quite seriously. How many times have I walked up in the middle of conversation, "...Well, could be worse. at least you're not--" only to be met with foot shuffling and awkward silence?

"At least he's not who? Who are you talking about? Fellas? Hey, where ya going? At least he's not who?"

You would think it would get to me. Some say that weird twitch in my left eyelid is proof of a man on the edge. I just try to shrug it off. What else can I do? If you can't be in on the great cosmic joke of fate you might as well enjoy being the butt. So I just smile and keep watching the skies for that final punchline. At least if I get smashed by a falling satellite I'll be imortalized in the pages of Ripley's  Believe It Or Not, right between the man with three noses and the water skiing squirrel. A man couldn't ask for a better legacy than that.